Introverts in church

Erin has started a blog series on introverts in church based on her reading of the book Introverts in the Church: Finding our Place in an Extroverted Culture. In the first post she asks the question:

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

That is to say, do you think people are introverts because they have low self-esteem, or do people have low self-esteem because they are introverts?

I objected in a comment that I don't think all introverts necessarily have low self-esteem and she has since clarified that point. So I thought I would weigh in on the more general matter of being a Christian and an introvert (An "intro-Christian?" A "Christintro?")

My thinking on being an introvert has been strongly shaped and clarified by this classic article in Atlantic Monthly. Briefly put, introversion has nothing to do with being shy or having low self-esteem. Instead, Jonathan Rausch defines introverts as people who spend energy from being around other people, and extroverts as people who get energy from being around other people. Note that introverts can even like being around others, but only in moderated doses and then they have to go "hole up" to "recharge." This resonates as true for me and other introverts, and also for those extroverts I know. That's why after even a fantastic and fun day with friends or family I am exhausted and want to spend some "me" time to unwind.

That said, I think introverts are then at a natural disadvantage in a church environment. Why? Because we all know (or are supposed to know) that "church is other people" (this introvert's attempt at a play on words). And that we're all supposed to be "involved" in church, to be with those other people, to have relationships with them, to love them and spend time with them. Which is all well and good - but it is also exhausting to an introvert, while it's invigorating to the extro-Christians. Which is why the latter always seem to end up "running the show," so to speak.

Any introverts with families are already running at an energy deficit, 'cause it's hard to get away from people living in your own house. Then you have work. Then you have family and friends. And then you have church. Just the service can wear me out sometimes. Add into that the "expected" added participation in committees, boards (just got asked to join another one), get-togethers, etc., and it makes an introvert like me want to run and hide. Not because anyone there is bad, not because "the cause" is bad, simply because it is overwhelming and sucks psychic energy away.

And that's where I think the resulting feelings of low self-esteem around being an intro-Christian comes from. Knowing that we're supposed to immerse ourselves in "the body of Christ" as manifested in our church and either doing so and resenting the energy suck it requires, or just avoiding it all and then feeling guilty about that (which is how it plays out with me). If one believes (as I do) that being an introvert is something we are born with, then it's not something we can just "buck up" and get over. People, even people we love, are always going to be a drain, and that means if we commit ourselves fully to them, as we do with our family and friends, and as we're supposed to do with our church, then that makes even less time in the week to get the much needed alone-time to recharge. And introverts who don't recharge enough get very moody and depressed. At least this one does.

Does that make sense?