This is the end, beautiful friend

I have been reading a lot about how the U.S. is at fault in all the current fiasco. And we are - we are. And so is the rest of the world. If you are reading this overseas amid headlines about some national financial institution of yours going down remember, no one held a gun to your banks' heads and made them invest in our "sub prime" real estate and other hocus pocus financial derivatives in exchange for the promise of untold returns on their investments. And that's what they're getting - "untold", as in "unrealized" - returns on their investments. That's what we're getting, too (the financial term for the current situation is "the shaft" - that wasn't too technical, was it?). Consider all this the flip side of Gordon Gecko's "greed is good" speech.

I read and hear on the radio today about the E.U. telling us we need to "take leadership" in all this. Let me muster my reply from my meager command of French to my friends and allies across the pond about all that.

"Fuck you."

Your banks and businesses invested in us because they're just as greedy fucks as we are, and they (and you) are going to get the pleasure of going down with us. Welcome to the Titanic - do you want a suite or something in steerage? Me? I figure I am just the waiter on the 13th deck below water line - I get just enough time to look up from delivering some tea to shout, "What the...?" and be inundated. Meanwhile my "representatives" are playing games rearranging the deck chairs.

Tomorrow (tomorrow) the U.S. government's deficit under the "smaller government is better" lie myth propaganda mismanagement philosophy of the so-called conservative Republican administration will surpass $1,000,000,000,000.

...One trillion dollars...

Money down the rat hole of Iraq. Evaporated in the pursuit of "Homeland Security". Oil company profits. And now this. And mark you - that's without the $700,000,000,000 bail out accounted for.

I quoted just this morning to a British friend of mine my favorite political quote ever by conservative author P.J. O'Rourke:

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn’t work and then they get elected and prove it.
- P.J. O'Rourke, Parliament of Whores

The Census sez as of my angrily hammering these keys that we have 305,302,910 people in the U.S. this minute (not counting illegal aliens). That's $32,754.36 per every man, woman and child. Per every Congresscritter and felon (there's a difference?) And it's growing every second. The Census also says there's 6,727,110,232 people on the planet right now. So let's spread the wealth blame pain joy - that's "only" $148.65 for every person on Earth. Pay up. "Why, for just a dollar a day..."

'cause I'm here to tell you we here in the U.S. are not going to be able to. No matter how much our allies and friends tell us to "exhibit world leadership". I have six people in this house. I do not have $196,526.16 on hand for this - and that doesn't count our own mortgage and other debts. Gee, will you take a check? The word "default" keeps popping up in my head. Sorry about that if it ruins your plans. It sure ruins mine.

It's a Good Thing we Christians all believe in the Kingdom over the world - I think we're going to get to live out our beliefs. Just like our grandparents did. God will let us live by our word. Lucky, eh? There's a reason the church is growing fastest in "the third world" now - they will have a lot to teach us. Let us be humble enough to learn.

Herein endeth the screed.

The funniest guys on the 'Net?

We're big fans of Barats & Bereta. You know, the guys that brought you that great Mother's Day video ("We're taking a picture for Mom!") And Cubicle War. And the Bible in a minute (52 seconds actually - but, hey, we're talking about overachievers from Gonzaga University here). And door-to-door evangelism. And now their latest. Two thumbs up!

[Warning: If you find the word "douche" offensive, well, then I just offended you, and you'll be really offended by this video. It's still funny, though!]

Sin management system

A few days ago in a comment thread on Amy's blog the term "sin management" came up to describe a particular type of legalistic teaching and preaching within some churches. Programmer that I am I immediately thought that if you need "sin management", then you obviously need a "sin management system", complete with videos, books, journals and of course software for you to buy to line the coffers support the ministry of the parasites people pushing such things. For all I know such things exist - I didn't bother to go look it up, I'd only get depressed.

But what was funny to me was that a name for the software leaped into my head - SinNoMo v2.3. And since it is easy to mock up such things in Visual Studio, I took a few minutes today and did so. Behold:

Now I just need to "productize" proselytize this and I am set for life ready to lead people to salvation.

SinNoMo - from PhariCorp. Ask for it by name!

A definition

critical mass, n. - a worship service held by post-modernists who deconstruct it as they go. No one is happy with the results, but they are convinced it is better than the alternatives.

Spice of life

So, I used up the last of my store-bought Herbes de Provence today in a chicken and white wine stew thing made up out of my head this morning and which is upstairs simmering away in the crock pot for dinner tonight. I checked out various recipes for the herb mixture on the Internet and found that while what you buy at the store is pretty standardized in terms of ingredients, what is actually used in Provence for cooking is much more flexible. Which is as it should be. Wiki quotes:

...the famous mixtures of herbes de Provence... were unknown to my Provençal grandmothers, who used, individually and with discernment, thyme, rosemary and savory gathered in the countryside.

It turns out that other than having a bay laurel tree in my back yard (we live too far north to grow a bay tree - bummer, I love to cook with bay leaves), I already grow most of the herbs used in various "herbes de Provence" recipes. Today I strung a line in the kitchen (right above Morgann's desk - she gets to smell all this stuff for the next few weeks :o) and went out and harvested and then hung up to dry:

• basil
• lavender
• marjoram
• oregano
• rosemary
• sage
• thyme

When it is all dried, I think I'll try my hand at mixing my own "herbes de Provence". If it turns out well, I'll post the recipe here.

This is already about the third or fourth round of things I've dried out of the garden this year. There have been three ristras of red tabasco chiles, lots of rosemary, lots of sage, and some more lavender. We have enough lavender for cooking but not enough to do much for gifts for my mom and mom-in-law - I need to plant more.

Next year I think I am going to concentrate the garden almost exclusively on high value items, that is, things that are expensive at the store even when they're in season. Tomatoes - lots of romas - I am still roasting them and freezing pasta sauce, and next year want to try canning it. Hot chiles of various kinds (of course :o). Sweet corn. Garlic. The herbs I already have planted and others, although the spearmint and peppermint are going to get dug up and then one of each is going to be grown from now on in a large container - what weeds!

While there is a difference in the flavor of garden-fresh vegetables (especially sweet corn - one of the reasons I will plant some), many of them are not worth the trouble and space (to me) when I can buy them at the store in the summer "dirt cheap", so to speak, and often locally grown, at that. I want the garden to be full of "luxury items" that otherwise I would tend not to buy, or not that often and not in quantity. I like gardening enough to keep doing it, but it isn't very satisfactory to me as a hobby in and of itself. I need a "pay off".

[While we're on the topic of herbs, besides the difference in how my British friends pronounce the word "herbs" itself I think one of the most unexpected things I discovered from all my trips to England was how they say "oregano." In the U.S., it's basically "o-REG-ah-no", whereas in England it's "ori-GAH-no." I almost didn't know what was being said the first time I heard it.]

Leper, unclean!

Well, it's not too surprising, but since I decided I couldn't be a part of our church's infrastructure people have been treating me differently both at church and when they see me out "in the real world." Especially the latter. In church everyone fakes it pretty well - a few subtle things that only I (and they) notice. Outside of church, however, it's real obvious. In many cases it's pretending I don't even exist (and if I force the issue by making a point of walking straight up and interacting then it's, "Oh, um, hi there.") Mostly it's just a certain stiffness. Ah, well - I am used to being the outsider, having been one all of my life.

But it still leaves me wondering - do "church people" really think that church as manifested in the Western hemisphere is what God intended it to be? Really? Really, really? If so, man - I guess I am the outsider, 'cause I just don't get it. But I am quite willing to believe the fault in all of this is mine. I'm an outcast in the real world - why shouldn't I feel like one in church, too? My only hope is my faith that in Christ's Kingdom I am not.

But still...Just once in my life I would like to feel like I belonged somewhere, with a group of people.

Ya know?

Off the charts

Paul links to a blog post by David Rudel today with a provocative chart summarizing the preaching about Christ in the book of Acts:

…if Paul, James, Peter, and Stephen are good sources…a Christian is someone who has chosen to follow Christ’s practices, repenting of unloving acts that God hates, and believes Jesus is the Christ (as shown by his Resurrection) who has been given power over Heaven and Earth, including the office of Judge.

Here's the chart (I have added hyperlinks to the relevant verses), but go read and comment on David's whole post for more:

Passage in Acts	Jesus is Messiah	Jesus Arose	Jesus is Lord	Jesus will Judge All	Repent!	Believers go to Heaven	Heathens go to Hell
2: 14-41	x	x	x		x
3: 12-26	x	x	x		x
4: 8-12	x	x
5: 30-32	x	x	x
5: 42	x
7: 1-53	x
9: 22	x
10: 34-43	x	x	x	x
13: 16-41	x	x	x		x
14: 14-17				x
17: 2-4	x	x
17: 18-31		x		x	x
18: 5	x
18: 28	x
20: 20-22			x		x
22: 1-21	x	x
26: 1-29	x	x

A bit of techie humor

Our help desk manager at work finds this funny:

Our son grows up

Tonight, Jon came home with about seven or eight strange, red, round bruises between his chin and his mouth. They weren't there when he went to school this morning. First we thought they were smudges, but no, they were like bruises and looked perfectly circular. The school is conducting standardized achievement tests this week and we asked him if he had been leaning on his pencil or something, perhaps concentrating so hard that he left bruises? He acted sort of evasive and claimed to not remember. Hmmm...

Then, after supper, the showman that he is (he really is) had to spill the beans. He went back to his room and came out with two erasers that slip over the heads of pencils, like these:



He proceeded to then show everyone how he had spent all day squeezing them and then pressing them to his face and letting go to create suction so they would hang there.

Think about that...

Yes, folks - he had given himself a bunch of eraser hickies! Even Morgann was laughing!

"Another mystery sol-ved."
- Inspector Clouseau

Bad to the bone

I love bad movies. I mean, I don't love just any bad movie. I love the ones that are so bad they're good. Not just the usual suspects like Plan 9 From Outer Space - oh, that Ed Wood! Or Kingdom of the Spiders - oh, that William Shatner! Or Reefer Madness - oh, that recursive irony! But how 'bout the more obscure stuff like A Bucket of Blood, anybody? Oh, that Roger Corman! And oh, man, that Barboura Morris, who reminds me a lot of how Les looked when I first met her. Check this out:

But I digress...Needless to say we are also huge Mystery Science Theater 3000 fans in this house.

Besides watching bad movies I love to read about them, too. In fact, I probably love to read good reviews about bad movies more than I like to watch the movies themselves. Because most bad movies aren't "so bad they're good", they're just bad. Plain, old bad. But they can bring out good art from the critics who review them, which is what Oscar Wilde was talking about, after all.

I have at least four collections of good bad movie reviews (parse that how you will). Plus a book on "cult" movies, many of which overlap because some of the worst movies of all time have large and loyal fan bases. As well as related books like Jump the Shark, which chronicles the point at which good TV shows go bad (ironic, considering I don't watch television). And I was a huge fan of Joe Bob Briggs' drive-in movie reviews. I am always on the lookout for such books, and even though they may overlap it is fun to read how each critic skewers a movie in their own particular way, although I think Ebert is perhaps the best at being snarky. For example, check out this snippet from his review of An American Werewolf in Paris:

I was not one of the big fans of John Landis's original 1981 film, An American Werewolf in London, but, glancing over my old review, I find such phrases as "spectacular set pieces," "genuinely funny moments," and "sequences that are spellbinding." My review of the Paris werewolves will not require any of those phrases.

So...what bad movies do you like? Come on, admit it - there's gotta be some. Share 'em in the comments, we can all laugh together. Joe Bob sez check it out.

Headstrong

Every once in a while I post something here from a song on the play list while Les and I hang out in the office before preparing dinner. This one just played and is a favorite for both of us. Maybe because we're both stubborn? :o)

To your common sense firm arguments
I won't listen to your voice of reason trying to change my mind.
I mind my feelings and not your words.
Didn't you notice I'm so headstrong even when I know I'm wrong?
Take this to your heart and into your head now:
before you waste your time, call a truce and call a draw.

What's the use in mapping your views out in orderly form
when it does nothing but confuse and anger me more?
I mind my feelings and not your words.
Didn't you notice I'm so headstrong.
You're talking to a deaf stone wall.
Take this to your heart and into your head now:
the old wives' tale is true, I'll repeat it.
All is fair in love and war, that's how the famous saying goes.

Open up your eyes, see me for what I am:
cast in iron, I won't break and I won't bend.
Take this to your heart and into your head now:
the old wives' tale is true, I'll repeat it.
All is fair in love and war, that's how the famous saying goes.

If I told you we were out to sea in a bottomless boat,
you'd try anything to save us, you'd try anything to keep us afloat.
And if we were living in a house afire,
I don't believe that you could rush out and escape it and not rescue me.
Take this to your heart and into your head now:
the old wives' tale is true, I'll repeat it.
All is fair in love and war, that's how the famous saying goes.
Listen, I think they were talking to you.
- 10,000 Maniacs, Headstrong

This is my hymn - it's the only one I know

On tonight's repeat of A Prairie Home Companion, recorded at the height of the Burma crisis last year (you remember Burma, don't you? Yeah, whatever happened to them?), Martin Sheen came out and sang this unaccompanied - go listen. Now. Really. [Requires Real Player.]

My life goes on in endless song
Above Earth's lamentations,
I hear the real, though far-off hymn
That hails a new creation.

Through all the tumult and the strife
I hear its music ringing,
It sounds an echo in my soul.
How can I keep from singing?

While though the tempest loudly roars,
I hear the truth, it liveth.
And though the darkness round me close,
Songs in the night it giveth.

No storm can shake my inmost calm,
While to that rock I'm clinging.
Since love is Lord of Heaven and Earth
How can I keep from singing?

When tyrants tremble in their fear
And hear their death knell ringing,
When friends rejoice both far and near
How can I keep from singing?

In prison cell and dungeon vile
Our thoughts to them are winging,
When friends by shame are undefiled
How can I keep from singing?

Go listen. I insist. Or stop coming by here and quit reading what I write. Really.

As Pastor Dan sez, "Peace out; Peace in." God's love to you all.

[And after you've listened to the above song, go read Pastor Dan.]

The story of a sign

My friend Martha sent a link to the following short film with this message:

This is a 4-minute short film that won the Cannes 2008 online short film competition. With a stroke of the pen, a stranger changes the afternoon for another man. The film is by Alonso Alvarez. I hope you have time to watch it. Perhaps you will really like it too.

Check it out. You will like it, you will see.

I remain naive

Last night I posted my shock (and dismay) over finding out that many churches charge $500 (I am sure some charge more) for weddings, even weddings between long-standing members. Heidi and Erin have confirmed that's "the norm". I talked with Les last night and we sure didn't pay to be married in church, although our wedding ceremony and the church we were married in were extremely small:


Actually, I am not even sure if we or someone else in the party tipped donated something to the pastor! I would have been oblivious to such things since my prior marriages were by a judge and a J.P., and I know I didn't tip them!

I talked with Patrick at work today and he didn't pay either for a church marriage either, other than a stipend to the pastor. He said they would have had to pay a church cleaning fee but instead their family took care of cleaning the church afterward (that seems fair). He also said if they'd had an organist (they didn't) they may have had to pay for that, and I can even understand that, considering the organist at our church is not only paid but isn't even a member of our church (nor our denomination - I still don't quite understand that). That would be like paying the florist - just another vendor.

But otherwise, I remain flabbergasted. For all I know our current church charges members for weddings, but I would be really surprised if they did. I wonder how much of it has to do with (a) the size of the church (and resulting "grandeur" of the church building) and (b) the denomination? A friend of mine, in fact, one of a few people instrumental in bringing me back to the faith, a member of a large church in Boulder (of a different denomination) and I had an exchange around this today. But at the end of the day it ended up being like Brant talking to those callers. We were talking past each other some how. It was like I could read and parse his words and they made grammatical sense, but at the end I decided they were nonsensical.

Not to say they weren't logical. They were. He's a very logical person. But Jesus isn't logical. God isn't logical. The New Testament certainly isn't logical. It stands all sorts of "logic" on its head (I am not going to proof-text you - there's no point - just think of Paul's "fool for Christ"). And seen through the light of the Gospels I read, his arguments were logical - but they didn't make any sense.

So that you can read what I am talking about, here are excerpts of our exchange. At the end, all I can say is, "I hear you, my friend - but I don't agree with you - at all. Even as I still love and respect you."

Here is my friend's first email in its entirety:

I’ll give you the perspective of someone who’s run church budgets from inside.

1. Churches typically have to provide a wedding coordinator to ensure that people get the stuff from the facility that they need, that things get cleaned up/put away/etc. This is a paid position. Seems somewhat unreasonable to fund a wedding coordinator from the church general budget.
2. Janitorial services have to be provided for weddings. Should the regular maintenance budget be used for this?
3. Special equipment has to be provided (oil candles, runners, so forth). This equipment wears, has to be maintained and eventually replaced.
4. The church musicians are often called upon to play at the ceremony. This is on top of their regular job at worship, choir, etc.
5. Lots of people complain about having to pay at a church facility even if they aren’t members or have only shown up once or twice. It’s amazing what people will complain about, trying to get something for nothing. I’ve heard stories of people joining a church to “get the discount.”
6. Most churches I’m familiar with will charge one rate for members, and one for non-members.
7. Pastors tend to get run into the ground – typical non-profit mode of operation. It seems reasonable to have them collect a stipend for officiating a wedding. On top of that, most pastors I know who officiate require pastoral counseling to try and get the marital relationship off on a good footing, and that counseling is NOT charged for. This counseling is part of what the real outreach of a church is or should be, IMHO.
8. Church’s don’t “turn a profit” on weddings – they generally don’t even break even. But they would lose the ability to fund some of the other critical work that they do (like, um, missions, charity, food drives, deacon’s closets) if they were to spend all of their general budgets ensuring that the facility was freely available for weddings.

How about funerals? How about concerts? There are lots of things that a church could claim should be provided “free” since they are services that uplift and minister, but a line has to be drawn somewhere, and the primary ministry maintained.

[Imagine me with an Edward Munch scream face right about here, gasping, "WTF? They charge for funerals?!?!?!?!"]

Here's an excerpt from my reply. The only reason I am editing is to keep my friend's identity and my denomination out of the discussion - the former because I didn't ask him before posting this, the latter because I diss my denomination a lot here but don't ever call them out by name because they're no worse than anyone else's.

Then why not charge for youth ministry? Why not charge for the seniors who gather and use the church on Thursdays to play games?

Brant's point, and I agree, is that marriage, the primary building block of creating a family, IS part of the church's "mission". Especially, as he keeps repeating, marriage between two long-time members. We Protestants lost something when we threw marriage out as a sacrament, I think.

My friend then replied:

Why not charge for youth ministry? Well, church’s do. Youth ministry requires a youth pastor, a facility, etc. That’s considered “baseline.” Youth ministries do retreats. Those aren’t fully paid for out of your tithe dollars, even though you could argue that it’s still youth ministry. It’s an extra. Some kids get scholarships, while others pay the full fee necessary for the church not to lose its rear-end on the cost. Our church does mission trips in the youth program as well, and kids both work at fundraisers as well as subsidize the cost of the trip out-of-pocket. It’s a good life lesson – it takes effort on your own part to actually reach out and help others and those with more should do so.

Charge for seniors – same argument, same results. Some things are considered part of the base ministry. The more money there is, the more the base ministry can be expanded.

Now to your specific point – marriage is the primary building block of creating a family. Agreed. However, what you’re talking about is a wedding, not a marriage. A wedding is more of a social event, whereas a marriage is a lifelong relationship which requires a heckuva lot more support and counsel. And the church does the marriage support “gratis.” I philosophically agree that I’d like to see the church foot more of the bill for a wedding in order to kick things off on the right foot, but my experience with bridezillas, people who try to game the system, etc, is that the church’s other ministries would unfairly suffer.

I understand your point – I just don’t see it as being quite as black and white as Brant and you do.

And that's where it was left. I guess I am adamantly against "the church making a profit". It is a non-profit corporation for a reason! There are some things that are mission, and IMHO marriage (and the sacrament ceremony that kicks it off) is one of them. What next? Charging for baptism? Why not? Why not communion? Hey, just charge for tickets at the door for admission. Except we wouldn't do that because it'd drive attendance (and tithing) down even more. Instead, we charge for what we can get away with. There is a high demand for a "church wedding", so we can make a profit on the suckers there, I guess. Similarly another friend in an email forum in which this was discussed said there were synagogues that charged for admission to high holy days. Is that wrong? I think it is. Obviously many do not, because the "business" of religion must carry on.

Call me naive. I still think it's wrong. I am still horrified. I guess Jesus missed out not charging for turning that water into wine. After all, that was "just" a wedding! What a waste! Think of the missions He could have funded from the proceeds!

OK, I admit I AM naive

It came to me as a revelation from Brant today - people pay their church to be married in the building? Really? Is that a common practice? Really?

Wow.

If true, I am even more against institutional church than I thought I was.

K.I.S.S.

Some time back I had an idea to create a clearinghouse for local church and non-profit volunteer events. I vowed to keep it simple, but ended up getting side tracked and depressed because what I had in my head didn't work out, even as I was thinking it was going to be "simple". But software engineer tech weenie that I am, I now look back and see, no, I was over-engineering the whole damned thing.

As opposed to Paul, who just made it work with a single-page blog. Beautiful!

Living in interesting times

A few days ago I wrote about being concerned how the ever-worsening financial markets could impact my job (so far so good - but with everything going on, I think even people working at the local McDonalds better start worrying). Then yesterday some news completely unrelated to the economy or my employer's business performance (which is actually doing very well) was delivered to our team at work that makes me vibrate even more with "concern" (worry is a sin, so I am not worried :o) There isn't any impending axe falling right away, but things impacting my position may change in some fundamental ways in 12 months or so. My employer doesn't move very fast - that can be frustrating at times, but other times like this it can be a Very Good Thing.

I really am not worried - for now. I hope to be able to see any change coming from a good ways off, and my boss is pretty good about sharing news both good and bad. But let's just say my radar is on high and will probably remain so, now. My only hope is that I can last through January of 2010, when I vest in the company retirement plan. Ultimately it may all be a false alarm - there's just no way to tell at this point.

We shall see.

(Don't) Stifle yourself, Edith

The other day ASBO Jesus ran a cartoon about the overwhelming dominance of men in the "Emerg-i-whatchamacallit™" Christian scene. Today my blogging friend Paul wrote it had just hit him that of the over 70 Christian blogs he was reading, all of them were by men. (Paul, you'd think you woulda noticed that before now. :o) He's since taken some steps to rectify that.

Weirdly enough, since the very beginning of falling into this whole blog thing (both reading and writing them) I've been pretty evenly subscribed when it comes to reading blogs by both women and men. This has not been by design. I can't say I am special or better because I consciously set out to be fair and gender-balanced. Not at all. It's just that the blogs I stumbled across and the bloggers that commented here who I then started to follow were luckily a good mixture of both sexes. Looking at the "religion" blogs I read daily (although really, most of them are simply "life" blogs), I count 13 men, 11 women and one couple. So if we take those 25 blogs and count the couple as half toward each, that yields an answer of 46% of those blogs being written by women. I guess I need to go gratuitously subscribe to another woman's blog to bring it to parity. :o)

Anyway, to me the whole male "versus" female thing is such a red herring. Men and women are different in many ways. Duh. Women and men are the same in many others. Duh, again. What really matters is who you are, not what you are. We're all children of God. We're all loved equally in His eyes. That should be enough.

Of course, that said, I think Paul still needs to read some more blogs by women! :o)

Domesticated animal

Yesterday I mowed the lawn, picked tomatoes, cucumbers, chilis and basil from the garden, did five loads of laundry, shopped for groceries, made and froze another batch of roasted tomato and garlic pasta sauce, canned seven pints of chilis and hot pickles, made potato, leek and ham soup plus a salad for dinner and then Morgann and I watched a movie.

I think if the seventeen year old me could see how I just spent a (pretty typical) Saturday, he'd shake his head in disgust. But it was actually a good day.

[BTW, we got just a bit over 5" from Ike between yesterday noon and this morning.]

A mini-rant about Web sites

I rarely cross-post a link from this blog to my other blog, since it is mostly about technical matters. But today I posted a screed on something that bugs me, which is the game of "Find the sign-in link on a Web site". Go read it and let me know what you think.

Lucky

We'll get the remnants of Hurricane Ike tomorrow, but it'll just be a bunch of rain by the time it gets here. I have no family or friends directly affected by it - everyone I know in Texas is out of the path, and while my daughters Meghann and Morgann grew up in the Houston area and my parents used to live in Waco, now Meghann is in Georgia and Morgann is upstairs and my parents are about eight miles away. This morning Morgann called the family she lived with after her mother died, they live in Katy, and while they don't have power they are fine and the strongest part of the storm passed to the east and north of them.

I hope you and all your loved ones are out of Ike's path, and pray for those who are recovering from the storm.

Me? I feel lucky. I can take the rain.

Two different life views

While recently discussing some current events that may end up touching me personally in life- (job-) changing ways, I wrote to some friends:

"It's never about abstracts."
- me

One of them gave some counterpoints and summed up with:

"It's always about abstracts."
- me (meaning, "him" :o)

I think that pretty much sums up two entirely different views of life. I can't say one is right and one is wrong. I will just say that any more I would rather talk about the concrete. Theory is fine, but people are suffering on the ground while you talk. What did you do to help someone, today?

Reasons I remain on a news sabbatical

Yes, folks - only a little over 53 days left until we elect what is arguably still the most powerful position on the planet. 53 days left to decide between two very different people which will be in charge of things like the United States' strategy in Iraq, the ongoing financial downturn, Supreme Court nominations, global warming, a resurgent Russia, a nuclear Iran, energy policy, and so on and so forth. And what filled the news yesterday while I was driving two hours each way to and from St. Charles? Here's my take at the headline:

Purported Prejudices Pertaining to Porcine Pucker Paint Perplex People Planet-wide

I shall use this as an object lesson and continue to remain "un-newsed".

And you didn't ask me, but whoever wins this fall, we lose - again.

Who knew it sucked?

[You happen to be wasting your time on blog post #500 (here - my other blog adds another another 96 posts to that number). Geez, don't you have anything better to do? Don't I? Guess not. Read on, you slacker.]

Last night I quoted some lyrics from the song Black Friday on Katy Lied. While linking to the Wiki article on the album I found out that the sound of that album was consider so bad by Fagen and Becker that they wouldn't listen to it. Here's a long and interesting article about it all. The thing is, it is and always has been a great Steely Dan album. Black Friday. Bad Sneakers. Doctor Wu. All the songs on the album are classic SD before they got ridiculously popular (and overplayed on the radio) with Aja. To this civilian the sound sounds like typical Steely Dan - clean, clear, crisp.

Isn't it funny how the things we do never turn out like we imagined, and that something we may not even consider worth mentioning may positively affect many other people when we consider it a failure? Donald Fagen and Walter Becker are notorious perfectionists, and we should all consider this as an object lesson in the futility of that. Because while their drive for perfection has given us a lot of excellent music, it has also apparently caused them to dismiss one of their best works. What a waste. As the Wiki article says, "However, to most audiophiles and fans of the group it is difficult if not impossible to hear the alleged sound imperfections." Indeed. I've enjoyed the album since it came out. Like my title says, "Who knew it sucked?" We should learn an object lesson from all this and each of us take a chill pill about something we've been stressing out about lately. It'll be OK. Really.

By the way, if you don't follow Sippican Cottage (along with sweet juniper!, one of the two consistently best-written blogs on the Internet - go, now, subscribe to both, marvel at how good they are) and if you love music, then go read this entry and make sure you watch (and listen) to the embedded video. Perfectionism can drive you crazy, but it can also produce, well...perfection. It's a conundrum.

What? Me, worry?

I work for a GSE. Worse, I work for a GSE in the business of lending money. I don't work for Fannie or Freddie or Sallie or Farmer. So far, we're not affected - our organization, governance and business model are different. But a simple change in market perception could suck us down the tubes for no reason other than that we share the designation of "GSE". I hope it doesn't happen. Meanwhile, I worry about people affected by what's happened so far.

When Black Friday comes
I'll stand down by the door
And catch the grey men when they
Dive from the fourteenth floor
When Black Friday comes
I'll collect everything I'm owed
And before my friends find out
I'll be on the road
- Fagen & Becker, Black Friday (from Katy Lied)

That's so hot

[Click to enlarge]

Yesterday I tried my hand at making pickles. Not just any pickles, but hot pickled cauliflower, which I love with a passion, and also a vegetable mix that only had "the good stuff" (cauliflower, carrots and jalapeños - none of the gushy things you get in most pickled garden mixes). The above picture shows the results - seven quarts of cauliflower and five quarts of mixed veggies. Considering that a small 8-12 oz. jar of pickled cauliflower costs between $2.50 and $5, and giardiniera usually costs $2.50 to $3, I estimate the above is worth about $60, which more than paid for all the ingredients and even the capital costs of buying a larger canner for handling quart jars.

For my own memory, here's the recipe I came up with for the cauliflower:

• 2 heads fresh cauliflower
• 14 fresh red cayenne peppers
• 4+ quarts of white vinegar
• 8 tbs pickling salt
• 4 cups sugar

Wash and separate the cauliflower in to bite-sized florets. Wash and cut the cayenne peppers into quarters. In a large pan bring the vinegar, salt and sugar to a boil and stir until sugar and salt are dissolved. Turn off heat.

In seven sterilized quart canning jars, put the following in each jar:

• 1 head of dill seeds
• 1 clove
• pinch of mustard seeds
• pinch of celery seeds
• pinch of coriander seeds
• 1 fresh garlic clove
• 8 quarter pieces of the cayenne pepper

Cram as much of the cauliflower into each jar as you can (you can use a wooden spoon to press the florets down to get more in there). Fill each jar to 1/4" of the brim with the hot brine. Seal with a flat and ring and boil for 15 minutes in a hot water bath with water covering the lids by 1" or so. Take jars out and cool on wire rack.

The garden mix was similar:

• 1 head fresh cauliflower
• 1 lb. "baby" carrots
• 40-50 fresh jalapeños
• 2+ quarts of white vinegar
• 4 tbs pickling salt
• 2 cups sugar

Wash and separate the cauliflower in to bite-sized florets. Wash and trim the jalapeños. In a large pan bring the vinegar, salt and sugar to a boil and stir until sugar and salt are dissolved. Turn off heat.

In five sterilized quart canning jars, put the following in each jar:

• 1 head of dill seeds
• 1 clove
• pinch of mustard seeds
• pinch of celery seeds
• pinch of coriander seeds
• pinch of cumin seeds
  
• 1 bay leaf
  
• 1 fresh garlic clove

Load each jar with a mix of the vegetables. Fill each jar to 1/4" of the brim with the hot brine. Seal with a flat and ring and boil for 15 minutes in a hot water bath with water covering the lids by 1" or so. Take jars out and cool on wire rack.

p.s. I also opened and tried to first jar of my jalapeños en escabeche I made earlier this month - they are great! Now I need to get going on making the cabbage relish recipe from my friend Kim's family. I haven't had any for a couple of years and that stuff is tasty.

Synchrocalifragilisticexpialidocious

Cindy has asked a question and invited those that want to respond to consider it an asynchronous synchroblog (my term - we all get to play, but since it was posted on a Saturday she suspects many people may not get to it until later). The question is:

How have you changed since you began blogging, and how much of that do you attribute to the process and results of the blogging itself?

I'll bite.

1) By writing out my struggles with church and organized religion in general and reading and sharing with others on similar journeys I've completely changed my thoughts about what it means to be a follower of Jesus. The impact of that is going to continue to ripple through the rest of my life, I think.

2) I've "met" and am interacting with a great group of people around the country and even around the world. I honestly never expected a readership above, oh, my wife and a few friends. To each of you, thanks for being a part of this conversation! Thanks for barging into my comments section and giving me a piece of your mind. And for the overwhelming majority of commenters, thanks for being positive, encouraging, curious, supportive and understanding. I know a lot of blogs seem to attract people who love to argue in the comments - I have been blessedly free of that.

3) Which then has had an unintended side effect. As I've concentrated on writing here, and writing more "on purpose" (sometimes with success, sometimes not), the email list "salon" I've been running since 1996 has taken somewhat of a back seat for me. Not because the people in it aren't interesting and important - they're all my friends, they're all really smart, and they're all into a lot of different things. It's just that most of the debates in that forum have ended up changing few minds (or perhaps more accurately, not mine, anyway), and I am on a hiatus from wanting to argue and posture over stuff that won't mean a thing one hundred, fifty ten or even one year from now.

4) And weirdly enough, that brings me to the most surprising observation about how blogging has changed me - I no longer consider it necessary to write "about" something. When I first started this, everything was about uppercase "T" Theology™. Everything I wrote had to be about something important. The thing is, I started noticing that the other blogs I read - the ones I really follow, never skim and never unsubscribe from boredom - are the ones about real life. Sometimes big things - death, disease, despair, divorce. Sometimes small things - kids, gardens, vacations, mowing. By exposing themselves as people first, when those bloggers write about something "serious", I take them seriously, because I "know" them, that they're worth listening to, and haven't just set themselves up as experts on the infinite podium of the Internet. And when I realized that, I realized it was time to step down from the podium myself. I lost some readership then, but I really don't care - I am not in this for the stats.

So, how has blogging changed you? If you answer, make sure you leave a comment with Cindy.

[W: 229.5]

Feeling low energy

I was having a great day today. Took a day of vacation and replaced a toilet and ceiling fan with Dad's help, and it all went really well. And the weather is beautiful, in the low 70s, so I had the windows open and the attic fan on pulling in the crisp air. Then this afternoon I went back to Lowes to see if they had something (they didn't), got back to the truck and...it wouldn't start. It was acting like it was the battery. Called Dad, he wasn't home, called Les's dad, he was, so Bill came and gave me a jump and it started right up but the minute he took the cables off it died again. Yup, bad battery. We could even smell it. By that point Dad had called me back and he ran to his work, which just happens to be an O'Reilly's Auto Parts store, and bought a new battery under his employee discount, then came to Lowes and we put in the new battery and all is well again.

The original battery only lasted 3.5 years (I bought the truck new in April of 2005). I guess I am a bit disappointed that the OEM battery would only last that long, but my father-in-law said he had to help replace another battery on my brother-in-law's 2005 Chrysler van just three weeks ago, so I guess that's somewhere Chrysler must be cutting corners. Ah, well - I am not going to let it ruin my day, since it all turned out OK.

We are not in control

We are not in control:

• Of "our" language - "By 2020, native speakers will make up only 15 percent of the estimated 2 billion people who will be using or learning the language." [English - ed.]
  
• Of "our" religion - "But at that point [2050 A.D. - ed.], only one-fifth of the world's Christians will be non-Hispanic whites. The typical Christian will be a woman living in a Nigerian village or in a Brazilian shantytown."

Get used to it. Or succumb to hierarchical (and doomed anyway) attempts at control of both.

My circle of friends has been using the phrase "For results which are of the finest" as code words for "poorly" translated English for some fifteen-plus years now. That phrase originally came from a mistranslated/transliterated instruction manual, and paraphrases in one sentence everything we smirk at as "superior" Westerners, who've been pushing "our" culture at the rest of the world for centuries.

Question for the class - what happens when the rest of the world adopts what we've been selling and takes it as their own?

Answer - I don't know, but we're gonna get to see it.

Personally, I await with pleasure the first African (or Asian, or Hispanic) Pope, speaking to us in some hodgepodge pidgin English that has its quirks but will be understandable by all. That will be some "results which are of the finest".

In every life a little fall must reign

Jeff posted today on how September and October are the months in his life where big things have happened. I've long noticed a similar trend myself, where most things of importance have happened to me between September and (early) December. It is statistically anomalous. For example, eleven of the fifteen jobs I have had as an adult I started between September and December. That means 73% of my employment opportunities have happened to me during 33% of the calendar year. Weird, eh?

I love the fall - I love the clear blue sky weather, cooler temps and the leaves changing color. I always feel my best in autumn. Isn't it odd that it coincides with so many big changes?

Consider the following hokey textual histogram. The capital letters represent the months. Each "*" represents a new job.

J - *
F -
M -
A - **
M -
J -
J - *
A -
S - ***
O -
N - ****
D - ****

If you added in my marriages it'd be even more striking since two of those, including my current (and last! :o) began in October. There are other events I can think of which would skew this even further to make my point. It's almost like I'm dormant most of the year and then reawaken every September.

So, what is it about the fall? Songs sing of spring and summer as being the months of love and promise and activity, but in my life, autumn's where it's at.

Falling off the bandwagon

Well, I missed another blog post yesterday. But this time I have an excuse - Les, the kids and I were all off work and school, together, for the first time in quite a while. So we just got some things done around the house, then went swimming at Les's parents, and then came back for our traditional Monday-is-Mexican-night dinner. Which was made much better by scoring a local source for homemade tamales, which were awesome. Once my parents moved back here from Waco, getting real tamales got a lot harder. But thanks to my coworker Patrick and his next door neighbors, the three tamale lovers in the house (Morgann, Erin and me) are in heaven.

Anyway, somewhere in all of that, I...forgot. Again. Guess it's time to take the Blog365 badge off my blog.

"I did nothing. I did absolutely nothing, and it was everything that I thought it could be."
- Peter Gibbons