We beseech thee

Back in the day, during my first software engineering (as opposed to mere programming) job, the support and sales engineers were my bane. Not because they weren't doing their jobs, searching for answers and solutions from customers and potential customers, but because I wasn't yet up to my job of being able to achieve flow mode in programming commercial software in assembly language while tolerating all the interruptions (some quite necessary) that any business throws at you. I made help desk people do little dances in my cubicle doorway to achieve attention. I erected a now-infamous "Les Nessman Memorial Door" at the entrance to my "cube". Frankly, I was a pain in the ass.

Tonight, while going through my (hardcopy) humor file from back before we had everything online and on the Net I came across a fax cover page from one of the sales support engineers (Ralph Coulter - if you're out there, get in touch!), directing a (seven page) question to me. The topic and import of the question are long lost. But I've hung onto the cover page all these years because of the "comments" block, reproduced verbatim in the following. It pretty much summarizes my reign of terror:

O purveyor of Host knowledge, O alchemist of code who is ruler and master of all that is uncompiled please find it in your heart of hearts to bestow upon one so lowly the erudition of your years by enscribing your wisdom on the following parchments. Your word is an excathedra and will prevent the ossification of the uninitiated in their quest for knowledge, and also fill the coffers of the kingdom.

My memory seems to reveal that I actually worked hard at answering his question. Prayer works! :o)