Question for codependents
Sam asks a very good question:
The first thing I’m looking to find is “What is a boundary and how do I set one?”
That may sound funny, but I really don’t know.
I don't know either. I am not saying I am struggling with the same issues Sam is - I don't know Sam other than through his blog and his comments here, and my issues are different than his. But thinking through his question I realized I had no answer whatsoever. We're all taught about loving others via a "servant life" - does that mean there are no boundaries? Does that mean that Christianity is a seductive, dangerous, amplifying trap for codependents? I could see that being totally true. In the blog circles in which I swim the themes seem to be "love others without judging them", "accept and love people for being themselves", "always strive to have a servant heart", etc. All of that sounds like pure heroin for a codependent.
Comment on Sam's blog, or blog about it and link to it from the comments there.
2 comments:
"We're all taught about loving others via a "servant life" - does that mean there are no boundaries? ... In the blog circles in which I swim the themes seem to be "love others without judging them", "accept and love people for being themselves", "always strive to have a servant heart", etc."
That makes no sense at all to me.
One important way that you love your children is to set boundaries for them.
Isn't it the same for the rest of the world? For the people in your life that need boundaries, co-dependent or not, you set boundaries. It doesn't mean that you're judging them, and you can still accept them for being themselves.
If you serve someone, you give them what they need. If someone needs boundaries, then you are serving them by giving them boundaries.
It's not judging, it's loving. Or paying attention, which is another way of saying loving.
Aaron,
I think that's a very good point! Thanks for that.
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