The first thing I’m looking to find is “What is a boundary and how do I set one?”
That may sound funny, but I really don’t know.
I don't know either. I am not saying I am struggling with the same issues Sam is - I don't know Sam other than through his blog and his comments here, and my issues are different than his. But thinking through his question I realized I had no answer whatsoever. We're all taught about loving others via a "servant life" - does that mean there are no boundaries? Does that mean that Christianity is a seductive, dangerous, amplifying trap for codependents? I could see that being totally true. In the blog circles in which I swim the themes seem to be "love others without judging them", "accept and love people for being themselves", "always strive to have a servant heart", etc. All of that sounds like pure heroin for a codependent.
Comment on Sam's blog, or blog about it and link to it from the comments there.