A question
I have a question for any emerging missional (or emergional missionant, or whatever the brand name is this week) readers here. Along with the home churches and pub churches and coffeehouse churches and bookstore gathering places and all the other hip, in, with-it things you are doing to make sure the church is comfortable and relevant for the 20-something and 30-something crowd, what, exactly, are you doing for the old? The aged? The shut-ins? Anything? Anything at all? Bueller? Bueller?
I thought not. It shows from your Web sites, for one. All full of pictures of cool young people rejoicing in their personal, intimate relationships with the Lord. Everybody laughing and enjoying the ease of young bodies in good health arguing over the meaning of life like there's time aplenty to do so. Nobody with a walker or a cane or a dozen boring stories to tell you about back in the day to be found. Nobody trembling from a stroke, unable to speak, kind blue eyes trapped in a body that doesn't work any more. Nobody that can remind us of our ultimate fate.
Here's where I am coming from when I ask this. Now that I am on the Human Care ministry board at my church it has become apparent to me just how much of the board's mission is taken up with caring for the "least of these" in terms of the elderly. While we may all focus on the poor because Jesus said to and they obviously need it, there is another silent group in our communities that require our help and time just as much. In our society the elderly are mostly ignored or warehoused. They often live alone, isolated, poor and lonely and listening to the clock tick out the remainder of their days. They may have been devout travelers with Christ their entire life, devoted to the church because they didn't know it was not what Christ wanted, poor things! They didn't know about post-modernism and how it is necessary to make the church culturally relevant. They thought it was relevant because it was the church - God's house - and they found Him there and lived their lives according to what they were taught there. How stupid of them. How much better we are at discerning God's word than they, who only made it through the Great Depression and WWII and everything since with nothing to rely on but faith.
And now they are mostly pushed out of sight and out of mind. The ever-shrinking institutional churches try to take care of their elderly members, but it is a mission always begging for volunteers. Even I am reticent for I am no more comfortable with an old person I don't know than the next person (except my wife Les, who has worked in long-term care for almost two decades and is God's own hands at it - her work is mission - how lucky is that?). But there they are, the old, patiently waiting for a bit of God's love, too. A few more times of companionship, a few more stories to tell, a few more complaints to anyone who will listen, before they are called home.
This may sound combative, and I guess it is. I am not enamored of the institutional church and anyone who has been reading this blog for a while knows that. But I wonder if "the answer" to the institutional church in the form of the emerging churches isn't skewed too much toward the younger demographic? Isn't it just recreating the "church as club" experience all over again, only this time with our people, not our parents or worse, our grandparents? It seems so much easier and friendly and loving and warm because, gee, everyone in it is just like us. If we let loose the F-bomb, nobody is going to get upset.
I dunno. I am in a battle for my soul right now, as I wrestle with whether I want to even stay in the church. Oh, don't worry - I am Christ's, that isn't changing. What I am struggling with is the institutional church's failings and my lack of desire to engage it to try and change it (more posts to come on that). But what keeps me there at all is thinking that walking away isn't necessarily the answer, either. It reeks too much of the "I am just going to take all my toys and go home" mindset. Now, I am not talking about those who have suffered abuse at the hands of a church - there is only one answer for that, and it is "Leave, now". But I am talking about people like me, where church just seems to be this big, slow-moving irrelevant thing - except when it does some things that no one else in the community seems interested in doing, like helping the elderly. I worry about that. What happens when there's nobody left in the old churches except the old? Who will care for them then?
Go ahead, heap on the abuse. Take umbrage and convince me your new! improved! church is on top of this issue and really involved. But when you answer make sure you are clear about how your non-institutional church is helping the old, and not just in a once-in-a-while program or outreach way, but in a day-to-day, week-in-and-week-out manner. Because I am interested in whether there is another way, or if people are just walking away from the institutional church because it's full of unsexy stuff like this that takes effort and isn't much fun. Fire away.
Yours in Christ, and getting older by the day,
Jim
I thought not. It shows from your Web sites, for one. All full of pictures of cool young people rejoicing in their personal, intimate relationships with the Lord. Everybody laughing and enjoying the ease of young bodies in good health arguing over the meaning of life like there's time aplenty to do so. Nobody with a walker or a cane or a dozen boring stories to tell you about back in the day to be found. Nobody trembling from a stroke, unable to speak, kind blue eyes trapped in a body that doesn't work any more. Nobody that can remind us of our ultimate fate.
Here's where I am coming from when I ask this. Now that I am on the Human Care ministry board at my church it has become apparent to me just how much of the board's mission is taken up with caring for the "least of these" in terms of the elderly. While we may all focus on the poor because Jesus said to and they obviously need it, there is another silent group in our communities that require our help and time just as much. In our society the elderly are mostly ignored or warehoused. They often live alone, isolated, poor and lonely and listening to the clock tick out the remainder of their days. They may have been devout travelers with Christ their entire life, devoted to the church because they didn't know it was not what Christ wanted, poor things! They didn't know about post-modernism and how it is necessary to make the church culturally relevant. They thought it was relevant because it was the church - God's house - and they found Him there and lived their lives according to what they were taught there. How stupid of them. How much better we are at discerning God's word than they, who only made it through the Great Depression and WWII and everything since with nothing to rely on but faith.
And now they are mostly pushed out of sight and out of mind. The ever-shrinking institutional churches try to take care of their elderly members, but it is a mission always begging for volunteers. Even I am reticent for I am no more comfortable with an old person I don't know than the next person (except my wife Les, who has worked in long-term care for almost two decades and is God's own hands at it - her work is mission - how lucky is that?). But there they are, the old, patiently waiting for a bit of God's love, too. A few more times of companionship, a few more stories to tell, a few more complaints to anyone who will listen, before they are called home.
This may sound combative, and I guess it is. I am not enamored of the institutional church and anyone who has been reading this blog for a while knows that. But I wonder if "the answer" to the institutional church in the form of the emerging churches isn't skewed too much toward the younger demographic? Isn't it just recreating the "church as club" experience all over again, only this time with our people, not our parents or worse, our grandparents? It seems so much easier and friendly and loving and warm because, gee, everyone in it is just like us. If we let loose the F-bomb, nobody is going to get upset.
I dunno. I am in a battle for my soul right now, as I wrestle with whether I want to even stay in the church. Oh, don't worry - I am Christ's, that isn't changing. What I am struggling with is the institutional church's failings and my lack of desire to engage it to try and change it (more posts to come on that). But what keeps me there at all is thinking that walking away isn't necessarily the answer, either. It reeks too much of the "I am just going to take all my toys and go home" mindset. Now, I am not talking about those who have suffered abuse at the hands of a church - there is only one answer for that, and it is "Leave, now". But I am talking about people like me, where church just seems to be this big, slow-moving irrelevant thing - except when it does some things that no one else in the community seems interested in doing, like helping the elderly. I worry about that. What happens when there's nobody left in the old churches except the old? Who will care for them then?
Go ahead, heap on the abuse. Take umbrage and convince me your new! improved! church is on top of this issue and really involved. But when you answer make sure you are clear about how your non-institutional church is helping the old, and not just in a once-in-a-while program or outreach way, but in a day-to-day, week-in-and-week-out manner. Because I am interested in whether there is another way, or if people are just walking away from the institutional church because it's full of unsexy stuff like this that takes effort and isn't much fun. Fire away.
Yours in Christ, and getting older by the day,
Jim
5 comments:
Ummm...I'm almost afraid to say anything...
I'm a house church guy who is on a journey away from institutional Christianity and (hopefully) into a more vibrant expression of faith. I don't carry the emergent label, and I don't by any means claim to have a viable solution to the very valid concerns you've expressed.
The two things that do come to mind are these:
1) I'm not sure you can pin this negligence on the emergent church, since by your own admission the institutional church doesn't seem to be doing much better. I think this is a church-wide problem, one that emerging churches don't claim to be trying to solve. (It is good to challenge younger groups NOT to be negligent, though.)
2) I'm not sure we haven't all missed the point here. Perhaps we shouldn't be looking to the collective "church" to create programs to care for the elderly, as much as we need to return to a sense of personal individual responsibility as Jesus' disciples, and out of that find ways to help. After all, if you are disillusioned with insitutional church, it really doesn't change anything for you to treat emergent groups as simply re-invented institutions, and then blame them for their inaction. In my opinion, shifting this burden upon ANY institution lessens my personal responsibility as a believer. Perhaps a better way to approach this is to look for ways to remind each of us that EACH ONE OF US is responsible to be as Jesus, both to orphan and to widow, both to young and to old. Hopefully, then, we will be motivated to work together in more organic and constructive ways to care for and honor our elders.
Wow. Lot to bite on there Jim... makes me think of Erin Word's recent post about her grandparents, and my own grandparents. And a fairly elderly lady I met probably the first time I went to church (~4 yrs ago @ the church I came to Christ within)... I think I listened to her talk to me about 15 mins straight :)
Excellent question and definitely one I've not really thought about at all. Oh and you know I don't even know what emergent is, right? I don't really care that much (directing the question specifically to missional/emergent/whatever) because this is and should be an issue for any church... because this is important.
There's so much there in their lives, and we don't really know. I think about my grandparents regarding this. I wonder about small groups and wide variety of ages. I can't say we've been to one that is - but have seen it. Interestingly enough, I've had a conversation with my grandmother recently about small groups - she's a Catholic and actually is in a small group (they definitely don't call it that - there's a specific name as there is actually a process they had to go through before they could form) that's been together for something like twenty years. Amazing in my mind - 20 years. Unfortunately when I asked if one could just join their group she said no - you have to go through this specific process, and only then, you'd really just start another group not join that one. So much life, and depth and stories (no matter how boring!) - and it seems so many of us (you know - those that aren't elderly) would really benefit from being around - I know I would.
Thanks for the thought provocation. Hopefully you didn't mind the rambling response ;)
Jeff,
First, let me be clear - I was trying to make the point that in this one place (caring for the aged) I think this is something that institutional church is MUCH BETTER at than any of the newer stuff. In fact, I'd say this is the one place where institutional church kicks ass. Because they have to - so many of their demographic is there.
Second, though, I think you're absolutely correct about each of us needing to be individually responsible. Amen. But here's the thing - the emergents are against "programs" and "boards" and all the trappings of institutional church because of the problems they bring (and boy, howdy, do they), but it is my observation, stealing a line from a friend, that "Nothing happens unless it happens on purpose", and a bunch of us each feeling we ought to do something but no one taking the first step to do it leads to nothing getting done. Sometimes you NEED a board, or a program, just to organize people so that there isn't wasted effort and missed needs, and for economies of scale.
I look at what our church does in terms of visiting shut-ins, doing repairs and cleaning for the elderly, giving caregivers "respite" time by watching their charges while they can go shopping (or just even catch some sleep). It seems like those things happen best if there is a group of people "minding the store" on the issue, instead of just each of us trying to pull it alone. Because what we'd end up doing is all rushing to help the cute little widow with the darling chuckle and leaving the dour old coot alone because who wants to listen to him grumble, anyway?
Anyway, thanks for responding, your comments have me thinking.
Chris,
Why do the Catholics have all the good programs? :-) Interesting you mentioned Erin's piece on her grandparents - that was certainly in my head while I was formulating this. For those elderly with caring families who live close by, the first answer is to always let the family take care of it first. But even families get stretched, and that's where the church can come in (see caregiver respite days, above). And you are right - we have so much to learn at the feet of our elders.
My worry and the reason for being provocative is I intuit, with little to base it on, that most "post-modern" Christian movements seem to be entirely focused on the young and the young-with-families, and they can leave the elderly out of it because those stodgy old institutional churches will take care of that problem for them. I want to call "b---s---" on that. Since when do we get to pick and choose who God wants us to love and care for?
Thanks for your rambling response, as always! :-)
Likewise, Jim...your post (and comments on MY comments) are making me think also. Thanks for that. If we lived closer together, it would be worth a cup of coffee at Starbucks to talk it over further. (But not for TOO long...because all talk and no action is part of our problem, isn't it?) :)
God bless.
Jeff,
Indeed. It would be good to talk in person. I spent a lot of time in Tulsa on a project a few years back. My wife and I have good memories of the place ("Go Drillers!" :o). We made friends with the management at Senor Tequilas. :o) Anyway, it's a good conversation, but you're right - at the end of the day our Lord wants action, not words.
God's blessings to you, too.
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